CREATE THE VALUE
CREATE THE VALUE
You’re in the room, surrounded by people. You’re in the social interaction, dealing with someone new. You’re in a one on one, with someone you know.
Delete their beauty. Delete their status. What’s left. Humans. Deal with IT. Find the human.
Assume you know them. Assume you’re friends, bros, or lovers. Open the bridge that they can use to get closer. Give them permission. Drop your mask, they will drop theirs.
Any room. Any interaction. Anyone.
Find the oscillation, connect, let magnetism flow.
Your move at every stage is to pull them in, push them out, escalate, deescalate, resonate - calibrate.
What do I want, what do I not want, what is fun, what is not, what is interesting.
Push out the worst in them.
Bring up the best in them.
Make them shine.
YOUR BODY IS YOUR MAIN TOOL
→ Lead with your body
The body tells your story. A confident body tells that your story is open to meet others.
Stand tall, like your head is hanging from the sky, back and shoulders relaxed, gravity falling straight, but weightless. Legs separated, hands on the sides of your body.
Walk slow, calm, solid, secure, soothed. Own the space.
Sit fully relaxed, legs open, arms extended, head tilted backwards. Like you’re sitting on your throne.
Prepare your story to be great.
→ Talk with your body
Your body is your spirit made muscle. Let it talk. Touch everybody. Be warm. Consider everyone else a musical instrument. Social life is tactile. Physical contact = spiritual connection.
- Walk in complete
- Handshake-Hug people on hello, tell them it’s good to see them
- Start conversations with touch
- Fist bumps for small rewards
- Winks when “you know what they are doing”
- Laugh loud when something is funny
- Scream WHAT? when people are absurd
- Enthusiastic high five FUCK YEAH when someone does something amazing
- Touch when making a point
- Nods in the upper chest / shoulders with the back of your hands for humor bits
- Slower nods for increased attention
- Palm behind the shoulder / lower back / higher back to really pull someone in
- Handshake-Hug people on goodbye, tell them it was good to see them and to take care
- Actually, love them
- Walk away complete, knowing you may never see them again
INITIATING TOOLS
→ People Are Maps, Read Them
People are open books. The parts that are hidden, are guarded by obvious walls, which are visible. Actually wonder. Don’t spend your time with people who are not interesting to you. Find what’s interesting. Be curious about the human. How did they get there. What are they doing. Where are they in their own map, where are they going, where do they come from. Make your read, and talk to them from it.
Compare your initial assumption with what comes back. Be surprised, comforted, disoriented, disappointed, enthusiastic, angry, sad, joyful.
Experience it. Let it be real. Then let it go.
→ Induce Reaction
Do, say, initiate something with a single pre-decided response: laughter, outrage, arousal, comfort, discomfort. High intensity, curiosity, intentional pause.
You’re not controlling the outcome. You press the button and watch.
1. Know the reaction you want.
2. Initiate it intentionally.
3. Pull back and watch them react while amused.
You’re in KU — pure spark. They’re in NO — reacting, knowing you’re doing intentionally, yet still unable to stop it. You look at each other. The dual awareness layering creates the magic. You’re KU/NO, connected, in function, and awake. It opens the veil.
It’s a powerful wink.
Every other tool can be done as Induce Reaction. Cruel, funny, loving, attacking. The magic is in the 1-2-3.
My whole writing style is Induce Reaction. I know what I’m doing. You know that I’m doing it. It STILL has an effect on you.
And I’m watching you, amused.
→ Give your Verdict
Look at what’s in front of you. What’s your honest judgment on it, what stands out. Is it positive or negative? Call it. Name it. Maximize it. Say it out loud.
Me: You’ve got a REALLY pretty face
Me: You have the MOST ridiculous smile what are you so happy about?
Me: NICE t-shirt dude, reminds me of Fight Club
Me: That looks FUCKING heavy
Me: This place smells like PISS FROM MICK JAGGER
Me: You have the eyes of an angel, VERY dangerous
Me: Dude you look like HARRY POTTER trained for the olympics
Me: You gotta be INSANE to wear those shoes dude
Me: That’s the COOLEST SHIT I’ve ever seen
Me: MOTHERFUCKER what baby formula are you eating? you’re FUCKING BUFF
Me: This is the UGLIEST DOG I’ve ever seen, what happened to him? LOOK AT IT?!
→ Give Commands
When you want something to happen that relies on other people, say it out loud. Tell people what to do. Be clear, gentle, precise, and powerful. Project your voice in commanding tone, nod up with your head.
Me: Sorry, can you please change the music
Me: Hi, give me that chair please
Me: Is that yours? I need the table
Me: What’s that, show me
Me: Can you open this
Me: Hey, (hand gesture) come here
Me: Hey guys hold on, check this out
Me: I’m looking for someone to fill the entrance, wanna join us
→ Say HEY
When you just want someone’s attention, give the minimum investment necessary: Hey. Strong but friendly voice, commanding tone, downward inflection, firm, decisive, nod up with your head.
Me: HEY
Tell them what you want from them after they engage. Commands work best.
→ Cut to the chase
Move two steps forward and start the interaction with full assumed compliance. The directness is the attraction. Let your body do the talking.
Me: (wink) I’m Yohami, hi.
Me: (hand gesture) Come here I wanna talk to you
Me: Come let’s dance
→ What’s their Nickname
Take what you find interesting about them and turn the verdict into a Nickname. The anchor works both for you and them, it becomes part of your shared story.
Me: Hey Pocahontas.
Me: You look like a discounted American Psycho. I’m calling you Bates.
Me: Hey girl, you, Mojito, what’s your name. Yeah Mojito come.
Me: What’s up Big Guy.
Me: Whatever you say, Jessica Jones.
Me: You can’t be Martin. You look like a Pedro. Come with us Pedro.
→ Swing Your Dong
When you’re in a space and don’t find anything around that is particularly interesting or receptive, make yourself comfortable and become the center of nothing. Fill it with your presence.
Fully enjoy yourself.
If people are around you, start talking (where are you guys from). If there are games to play, start playing. Create the party where there’s none. Start solo.
Openings will find you. And fast.
→ Befriend the Alpha
When there’s another dominant male in the room - befriend. He’s your bro. Be happy to meet him. Power multiplies. There are stories to be told, wisdom to be shared, and strategic decisions to be made.
DEEPENING TOOLS
→ Be a Lovable Jerk:
Be ridiculously self aggrandizing while simultaneously not taking it seriously at all.
Me: Sorry, I’m the best.
Me: What? My cock is huge.
Me: That’s why girls love me.
Me: I’m Yohami, you can call me Dr GoodFuck.
Me: Mr Big works too.
Me: I would let you win but I don’t know how to lose.
Me: I only do Whisky. Too good looking to drink beer like a peasant ;-)
Me: I don’t smoke I’m just trying to look cool. And winning.
→ Dig to find what’s Interesting
Nothing is boring. You’re just not curious enough. Ask yourself what the fuck happened for things to be where they are right now. What moves people. What are they looking for. And why.
Or, any time you start getting bored - push whatever is going on and disrupt with whatever caught your attention.
Me: Hey, is that a tattoo, what does it say
Me: You don’t look from here
Me: So today you decided to put up a smokin and try to pick up women - at this low class dentist meeting bar
Me: Where did you learn spanish
Me: Yeah? are you parents still together
→ Flirt
Mild sexual interest, fully expressed. Basically, words of appreciation that communicate, verbally, what both of you know already. Look straight into her eyes, say the words calmy, with intent. The flirt makes the current attraction solid.
It gives them reassurance. The flirt is for them.
Me: You’re cool
Me: THOSE are nice boobs
Me: You’ve got beautiful lips
Me: Mmm you smell GOOD
Me: Nice legs woman
Me: We’re a good team
Me: You’re amazing
Me: I know what to do with that body ;-)
→ Playful Neg
Tell them something negative or incongruent that you see about them, wrapped in a way they can laugh their way out of it, or - sink and prove that the worst reading was true. Leave it up to them.
Me: You’re almost exactly my type. Too bad you’re a commie.
Me: You look like the type of person irons their socks.
Me: Yeah like when you go to the bathroom first you need to take the stick out of your ass
Me: I bet you were the teacher’s favorite.
Me: What do you mean if I’m like the other guys? How many guys - let’s talk about them.
Me: Names, now.
Me: You’ve got resting villain face.
Me: How the fuck are you a gym trainer with that beer belly
Me: Your laugh reminds me of my neighbor’s guinea pig
→ Let’s Roleplay
Layer a new simulation on top of the current reality and operate from inside of it for exactly the right amount of time.
Initiate, wait for minimal response, and as people respond with laughter, interest or engagement - stack, tag, keep escalating before delivering some fun payoff and then letting it go.
Me: You know what, tired of waiting let’s just get guns, jump over there and get those beers. John you come with me. You need a mask. Jane, give me your panties.
Me: Fuck that’s a lot of partners. Have you considered doing this professionally? I can be a pimp. Do I look like a pimp or not?? I do? how you dare.
Me: We’re too similar and argue too much, we could NEVER be together. Can you imagine - we would be two old people getting kicked of the nursing homes because of all the bickering... I wonder if the sex is good though.
→ Set up a Ramp
When there’s a gap between the current moment and where you want to go, set up a ramp. Create your own call for the response you’ll deliver. Set up the hunger for the payoff. Prepare the stage for the call to action. Compliance before logistics. Ping NO to deliver KU.
Me: You thirsty? let’s get a drink.
Me: When are you free? I’ll take you out.
Me: What are you doing next week, give me your phone number we’ll set up something.
Me: Do you play ping pong, let’s get that table
Me: This is boring, come with me
Me: You look sad, what’s going on
→ Bounce off Soft Walls
Energy is going down, wall approaching - gracefully exit and find the next better suited energy opening. Change groups, change venues, change topics, change. Carry with you the people who are in tune, leave the less in tune people behind. Don’t worry, you can see them again later.
Me: It’s too loud here, come to the corner
Me: We’re going to another place, wanna come?
Me: What are you doing later - we’re going to the Dragons Tail
Me: Aight guys, gonna get a drink see you later
RHYTHM TOOLS
→ Break rapport
When the conversation starts stalling into dead energy, break it. Flirt, challenge, command, doesn’t matter, do what fits for you.
Her: I’m Ecuadorian (blah blah blah blah blah blah)
Me: (stare) Did someone ever tell you that you look like Pocahontas
Me: Give me that board let’s play chess. Don’t worry I’ll teach you.
→ Double down
When anything creates more energy than you had anticipated, do it again, then do it again, then again if there’s leftover energy. Then pause and enjoy - the pause is the celebration. Stacking:
- Acknowledges that something good happened.
- Invests additional energy into that positive spike.
- Anchors the good feeling so it sticks and compounds.
Valid for every single tool.
→ Pull and Push
People are walking contradictions. Offer them both of their own sides and let them choose where they land.
Me: I can’t tell if you’re forty or fourteen
Me: You’re in great shape, for an old guy
Me: You have the face of an angel and the smile of the devil
Me: You look like an asshole with a good heart
→ Reward
When someone complies, or does something thoughtful, reward with in a frontal, decisive manner. The context can be public, loud, or soft and intimate, confession tone. Regardless, anchor it.
Me: GOOD.
Me: YES.
Me: YES, please.
Me: Thank you.
Me: That was really good.
Me: This is FANTASTIC thanks.
Me: I really appreciate this, thank you so much.
Me: You’re my favorite.
→ Punish
When something or someone brings a game that you don’t want to play, reject it frontally. Push it away. Stay there until your rejection is acknowledged.
Me: NO
Me: FUCK! no
Me: Are you kidding
Me: I’m not doing THAT
Me: No THANKS
Me: No thank you
Me: I’m ok, you do your thing
Me: Nah
Me: Meh
→ Play Stupid
Say something completely ridiculous and play the bit for exactly the right amount of time.
- Get the name of the city wrong, It’s not Milano but Milanesa.
- Current year is actuall -1 because the Maya calendar deleted year 2000
- Freud actual name was Frodo
- Beer is actually made from olives
Stay there, smiling and doubling down as people increasingly get frustrated and try to correct you. When they are about to win, introduce a new wrong fact.
→ Misinterpret
A tiny instance of playing stupid. Take what they said and make it more interesting.
Her: I’m a visiting agent, I go door to door
Me: That’s interesting. Are you delivering pizzas or massages
Her: I hope you’re not like all the other guys
Me: How many guys are we talking about
Her: I’m looking for a new job.
Me: What did you do to get fired.
Her: I’m not usually like this
Me: Do you mean dressed
→ Story-Tell-It
When asked boring questions, extend the factual information with the pre-bit, and the post-bit, creating an arc. Besides this being proper storytelling, it offers more information for them to grab on, things to feel, and a pattern for themselves to snap out boring monosyllabic conversation.
He: What do you do for a living?
Me: I have a company - I make videogames. I live right there close to the McDonalds, in a home office. I’m probably the only game developer in this area. I should be In San Francisco or London but it is what it is.
→ Story-Tell-Them
When people say things that sound absurd, complete the story with a splash.
Her: I don’t usually talk to strangers.
Me: We’re not strangers? Hi, I’m Yohami.
Her: (sigh) Everyone here is so fake.
Me: Yeah, everyone is pretending to have fun. Not us. We’re just BORING.
Her: Hahah you’re so stupid.
Me: I’m actually a genius. They don’t let me in the airports because my brain triggers the metal detectors. I’m classified as a weapon.
Her: Hahah you must have a tiny dick.
Me: Actually - it’s the BIGGEST one on the Guinness Record. You can google it. My mom still has the plaque.
Her: I’ve been trying to figure out what I actually want.
Me: That’s easy. What do YOU want.
Her: I don’t really trust people easily.
Me: With good reason. Most people are COMPLETE TRASH.
→ The Running Gag
When something is particularly interesting, funny, important, reference it back later. The anchor reloads the story where it was left.
Later that night:
Me: So — still looking for a job?
Me: Hello, boring person.
Me: Mojito, this is at least your fourth mojito and I don’t know what to tell you.
Me: Don’t wanna go to Johnny’s, last time you puked all over the place there.
Me: That’s why I call you Bates, bro. Total psycho.
Me: No don’t try to FRODO analyze me.
THE OPERATING PRINCIPLE
Dealing with people is mundane. Easy, and meaningless. Make this the simplest thing in the world, the most natural, zero stakes.
Treat everyone the same, because you’re the same, because you’re true. Allow others to match you.
Have a great party.
(extract from KU/NO Chapter 05 PLAY TO WIN)